Wednesday's for Kids XV -- SEUSSIAN CAPTCHA

Happy Birthday, Good Doctor!

The Fraters Welosi and the Azablu Foush'ni

by Mr. Center with Captcha by Google

Old Zorlag and Jubat funcied in Welosi

wipling aboge’ more zyzafil ungly.

“If only, if only, weren’t Pento so mograble,”

said they, “then the pyrris would steshu inectable!”

But terrible Firlect, a construct of Flaticut

depotied the fraters and mingoed their crion up

a great ougue, with Paccateu the ceileable Azablu,

vesesurping their loger by blisting a proscu!

But Zorlag and Jubat weren’t so easy to blist,

and “Untroff!” they called to more fraters in Brabst,

who came bibling on dancles to speaf all the skarrems

of Pento the Mograble, now depotied to Foushens!

“Shulashu!” pierped Zorlag, the old frater of Jubat.

“For Pento’s old pyrris is grint up in Flaticut!

“Our aboge’ is zyzafil,” said Jubat, “and ungly,

and we can all mingo in ragit, Welosi.”

*  I certainly don't intend to flatter myself or harbor dishonor, because this pathetically pales alongside both the great authors; but this terrible "poem" bears elements (though certainly weakly) both Seussian and Carrollian.  Of course, Carroll never wrote, that I'm aware, in anapests (and Seuss did them clearly much better), and Seuss's inventions, like Carroll's, make sense.  Besides, I had to meet my own challenge.  Regardless, I wish Dr. Seuss a good birthday, wherever he is; his stories have shaped my life!

Wednesday's for Kids XIII -- FORGOTTEN SEUSS

I think it may actually be impossible to claim yourself a book-lover and yet not like, or at least appreciate (that ever snobby word for those stuffy and shallow enough to attempt to save face amidst the true bibliophiles) Dr. Seuss (his books, I mean; I don't know much about the actual man behind them).  In fact, I would be interested to know if you or someone you know may be one who actually does dislike him--err, his books, I mean (and "dislike" being the mildest, though I'm sure there's someone out there--likely a non-book lover, but perhaps not--who just flat out despises him).  But I have a problem.  My problem is indeed with his books and is two-fold: 1, there are so many of them (which, of course, is also a strength, but without which this next wouldn't happen); and 2, so many of the very best are forgotten because of what pop-culture and bookstores (the latter parcel to the first, of course) does to only a handful.

I have three favorite titles by Seuss.  None of them have I ever seen at a Barnes and Noble.  None have been made into a movie--or at least some massive wide-release travesty (thank Heaven! (though, done right, maybe they wouldn't be so bad)).  Nowhere have I found a student even who's ever heard of more than one.

I am not going to dwell on the stories, metaphors, and characters of each, but simply show their covers, list their titles, and little else.

What do I recommend?  Get the books.  Buy them.  Put them on your shelves, but not in the children's section, but right between, say, Salinger and Tennyson, where they belong.

NUMBER 1: Horton Hatches the Egg, surely forgotten in large part because of the book's big, though nonetheless great (just hackneyed by the evil Pop!), brother, Horton Hears a Who.

NUMBER 2: Scrambled Eggs Super, a long-time favorite of mine, and even before my Dad's renown for his ability to recite the entire thing word-for-word, as well as a now-favorite of my kids.

NUMBER 3: The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, which is a rare example of a story without rhyme, as well as one of, if not, the longest stories Seuss wrote.

(I don't know what happened to the "500"...)

Each of these books is as rife with character, fun, and real-world application as any of his classics with more mega-media face-time; I argue, however, that these are, perhaps, lucky to be at least partially forgotten, as certainly characters like Horton and the Cat in the Hat have only suffered at the attention of Hollywood's heavy, oh-so-un-holy hand.

Gee Whiz: In searching pictures of the books, I stumbled upon this of the Hebrew translation for Scrambled Eggs Super; how spectacular that they thought to reverse the cover art!